Holy moly....

No one can say they have never made mistakes, we all do it.  I have noticed lately my mind has been all over the place and mistakes are being made.  I have screwed up, hurt feelings, and disappointed myself and others.  I admit that I have been selfish and not thought things through because I have so much on my plate.  I have let others make decisions for me because I have been overwhelmed and I should of fixed it right away and I didn't.  I try to explain myself and why I haven't been myself lately but I don't think it helps.  We have so many things to do with the IVF process that most people don't know about an its overwhelming.  We have had to make sacrifices that most families never would have to make or even think about.  Some of the sacrifices have taken a toll on friendships, finances, family time, and our own personal life.  Its hard now and I wish things could change but to reach the ultimate goal we have to do this.  We have sold things that mean a lot to us, we have gone down to the bare minimum at home, and we have worked over time as much as possible.  It is a long process and we have to keep telling ourself it may be hard now but it will be worth it.  This journey flips your life upside down and you feel emotions that most people can't imagine, and this is all before a baby is even here.  There are days that everything becomes so heavy on my shoulders that all I can do is sit down, take a deep breath and remind myself if people love us they will understand.  My "to-do" list for just the IVF stuff is so long that is becomes overwhelming but I have to get it done.  Between doctor appointments, ultrasounds, driving to Scottsdale, blood draws, ordering tons of meds, and the financial part that goes with every step, I have a lot to keep track of.  But this is what I want more than anything and I say BRING IT ON! I know Tony and I can do this, I just hope everyone in our life can try to understand what is involved and can take that into consideration.  Most families I know have never even had to think about fertility but this is what our life revolves around right now.  So to those I have hurt or upset, I'm sorry!  But I am also sorry that we have to be selfish right now to make our dreams come true.  I hope everyone understands.....