It will change.....right?

I always say if I didn't have bad luck I would have no luck at all. I know this isn't totally true but some days it does feel like it. People at work tease me that I have a poo magnet. Some call it a poo magnet some call it a black cloud, either way it seems to follow me. At this point it has followed me so long I just try and laugh it off. There is always that one little thing that I can't seem to laugh off.......a baby. Tony and I have been trying for a baby for four years with no luck. We have been through all of the testing, which by the way is not an easy thing. I have been put on oral fertility medications with no luck. We have also done fertility treatments with medications and shots, with no luck. I always ask myself, it will change...right? I can only hope. This is something that has been the most difficult thing we have ever had to deal with in our entire life. Now we are at a cross road of do we continue fertility treatments, do we adopt, or do we say it's over and say this is how things are supposed to be. If we continue fertility treatments or adopt we will need money for it. Which as a firefighter and an EMT we don't have a lot of money. This is also frustrating for us because we have other options unfortunately without money they are basically impossible. This is when we wish we had a rich family member or someone who would want to be a gestational carrier for us. HAHAHA! If only it was that easy right?! All we can do is keep doing what we can and hope that one of these days something will change.

"I will give you a chance"

For anyone who knows my niece Ally you know there is always a funny story associated with her. Day before yesterday Tony and I went to my sister in laws house to visit and Ally wanted to play Wii. So she finally talked us into playing bowling and Tony played first against her. Ally started off beating Tony with two strikes in a row. After each strike she says "if you want to be as good as me uncle Tony you need to practice more!" She kept the trash talking up the whole game and we couldn't help but laugh as we watched. Needless to say, Tony lost. So now it's my turn to play Ally. I told her I'm not very good at playing bowling and she says "oh it's ok aunt Sunny I will give you a chance". She purposely would get a gutter ball or miss and then look at me and say "see I give you a chance!" If I only hit one pin down Ally would put her hand on my shoulder or pat my back and say "oh you did so good" or "good job aunt Sunny!" She cracks me up and I would not trade any of these memories for anything! There has been a few times that when she says something nice, I tear up a little. I love it when she says I'm her best friend. I just hope it stays that way forever!

This crazy life I love!

I have been trying to think of how to start out this blog and what to share. So I decided the best way to start is to dive right in! First of all my name is Sunny, and yes it is my real name. I am an EMT and I am married to a firefighter/EMT. Which kind of hints towards the title of "This crazy life I love". My husbands name is Tony and we have been married almost four years now. We are both full time students plus we work full time as well so we tend to stay pretty busy. There is days that we may only see each other in passing but we seem to make it work! We are very lucky to have a BIG family that is very supportive. We don't always get to celebrate holidays or if we do it may not be on the actual day of the holiday but our family always makes sure we some how get to celebrate together. As crazy as our lifestyle is, we seem to make it as normal as possible. Tony and I do not have kids but we have nieces and nephews which is just as wonderful! We don't get to see all of them very much but we do get to see two of them pretty often. We love to spend time with Allyson and Kaden! These two kids can put a smile on our face no matter what. Hearing them laugh is something I will never get tired of. Luckily their parents let us spend time with them as much as we want. Tony has two sisters and one brother and I have one little sister and an older step sister and brother as well. We also have our best friend's (which has become our family) and their daughter Gianna or Peanut as I call her. I love that little peanut! Between all these people we have a lot of family! Then you add our "work family" on top of this and yet again all you can say is "I love this crazy life"!