Here's to new beginnigs!

As my start date for my new "adventure" gets closer I am getting a little more nervous.  I have done this before and I know the grass isn't always greener but in this case it is what is best for my family.  It is a bittersweet feeling for me to leave this time.  I have met some awesome people and made friendships with some girls that I love!  I'm hoping that we can still make time for each other because I am going to miss them terribly.  I am hoping this year will be the year of changes and our luck changing for the better.  Maybe some new starts, changes, and adventures is just what we need to turn everything around.  One change I am looking for this year is just to have a new start in general.  I have noticed lately that there is always a nickname or stigma attached to people and that is how you are known, even if what people say is not true.  I'm tired of being known for things that other people think is true.  I'm ready for new beginnings!  I am tired of being known as the one who came from Wickenburg, the one who can't have a baby, the one who grew up in Bagdad, and the one I love "oh aren't you the one who is just an EMT" .......  I could go on and on and even though some of these are true it doesn't define who I am.  I am a person who loves being married to my best friend, loves being with my friends, loves spending time with my family, would do anything for my nieces and nephews, loves being in the outdoors, always wanting to learn new things, and would do anything to hear my nieces and nephews giggle everyday for the rest of their life.  I am so thankful for the true friends and family I have in my life right now. When I say I am ready for new changes and new beginnings I am hoping that people will get to know me, and not base impressions off of what others who don't know me say.  Here's to new beginnigs!

Adventures

Yet again it has been awhile but there has been a lot going on with us.  I have still been working in Prescott which has still made the baby process pretty much a no go.  I have 3 more shifts in Prescott this week and I will no longer been coming up here.  I have decided to start a new adventure and accepted a job with Thunderbird Hospital.  I am excited and nervous to start this new job but it is what is best for us.  Not only is it closer to home, better pay, and better benefits but it is an awesome schedule which means we can start the baby process again in full swing!  With this schedule we will have more time for baby stuff and each other.  After speaking with my fertility specialist we will only give this a try 2 more times before moving on to IVF.  All of the process scares me but the end result is worth it.  It's the getting to the end that feels difficult.  I'm hoping that with the better schedule and no more traveling it will cut my stress and I am more than ready for that!  I'm ready for new adventures!

Crazy Days

Have you ever had those days where you feel like you can't keep up with your schedule?  That's my life lately!  Between all the driving back and forth to work, working, school, and trying to fit in family time there really isn't much time left for anything especially some me time.  I think with all the craziness that I call my life, I have lost myself somewhere.  I have had some hard reality checks lately and I'm not sure exactly how to fix it.  I need about 3 more of me and then it would be a piece of cake!  I figure baby steps is the only way to start making changes.  Now fingers crossed I can make this happen!

Out with the old and in with the new.

It's been a long time since I have been on here but life has been a little crazy around here.  I'm still working in Prescott and its not the most ideal situation for me.  I'm driving a lot and staying the night up there more than I am home.  2011 had its ups and downs for us and we are hoping 2012 will bring positive changes and opportunities for us.  Luckily we have ended    2011 and a positive note so hopefully thats a good sign for 2012.  In 2011 we made amazing memories with family and friends and I can't wait to make even more this year.  Hopefully this will be the year that our luck turns around and our hopes and dreams will become a reality. We have such amazing people that are always by our side that I wouldnt trade for anything.

Long time

Well it's been quite awhile since my last post.  I am still adjusting to my work schedule which isn't happening as fast as I wish it would.  It snowed yesterday and was COLD.  It was very pretty but I was not ready for snow.  I guess I have lived in the city a little to long.  We went on our elk hunt a few weeks ago which was my first elk hunt ever.  I was excited to go and have this experience but unfortunately I did not get an elk.  My sister in law and uncle did so it was fun to help them.  We also both got deer tags and Tony got one on opening morning.  SHOW OFF!  :) Not as much luck for me but I am going back out for another day so hopefully that will be my time.  I'm so excited for the holidays this year except that I have to work almost all of them.  I love the holiday season!  We wish that we could be celebrating with a new addition but hopefully things will fall into place soon and that dream will be a reality.

Time to hunt

I am excited to leave for my elk hunt in a few days.  It's my first elk hunt ever so I'm nervous as well.  There is always great memories made on our hunting/camping trips especially when the kids are around.  A few years ago when we were deer hunting Ally wanted to sleep in our tent so she slept on my cot with me.  When we woke up in the morning it was really cold and she needed to go potty so she tells Uncle Tony to take her.  As soon as she lifter the covers and felt the cold she says NEVER MIND!  We were laughing so hard.  Never a dull moment with those guys.

Moments

Since my last post I have had a few of those "ah-haaaaa" moments.  Sometimes you just have to sit down, take a deep breath and say REALLY?!  I've learned that honesty and being trust worthy are traits that not everyone has.  I've had to learn who to trust and who not to trust and considering that I'm working in a new environment with all new people this can be tough.  Luckily I have met some pretty great people that I can't wait to get to know better.  I've learned that there s somethings that are completely and totally out of my control, and that's hard for me to be ok with.  I know what I have to do but it seems like my heart and my head are not communicating right now.  For some people the things I feel is difficult may be easy for them and things that are easy for me may be hard for them.  It's hard to find friends that are willing to accept your imperfections and love you no matter what.  I've learned that you can go for years not talking to a friend and finally get to reconnect (on facebook of course) and it's like we never lost touch.  She is there even though we are miles apart.  Thank you Chelsea!  Of course there are those friends that I wish we could just go back and make sure we never lost touch  Unfortunately it's not that easy and hopefully one day it will change.  Maybe it will change this weekend since it's my ten year reunion.  Wow ten years already! 
I read something today that really moved me so I thought I would share it with everyone.
Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.
I can't wait for this process to be over and I can finally say I'm a mom.  Everyone always says that once you have a child your world changes and you have to make choices based on your child.  In our world this has been our way of thinking for the last four years.  The one missing piece to our puzzle is a child.  This whole process has been full of moments we will never forget.  Some good, some bad but in the end it has made us stronger.